Sugar, the 21st-Century Hard Drug (and How I Almost Sold My Soul for a Chocolate Fudge Cake)

No one has ever offered me cocaine in my life. But sugar... well, I was hooked on sugar from the cradle. Sweetened baby milk, industrially produced applesauce, little melt-in-your-mouth cookies at recess, candy as a reward, Nutella to console. And here it is, it starts off all sweet and all cute. You think it's love, but in fact it's a programmed addiction.

My ADHD brain goes haywire in front of a tarte tatin

When we have ADHD, our brain naturally lacks dopamine. So it finds compensatory strategies to boost this little rush of pleasure. Sugar is a turbo-dopaminergic. One small bite, and bam, an explosion of joy in the synapses.

The problem: the effect doesn't last, and you always need more. And that's exactly how a drug works.

I can tell you that I've had some real "fixation" periods. The kind where you're shaking at 9 p.m. because there are no more cakes in the cupboard, and you're seriously considering eating powdered sugar with a spoon. Yes, I've done it. Yes, I'm ashamed. But it's the truth.

When sugar becomes a false friend

At first, sugar calmed me. It helped me focus, keep me from collapsing from sensory exhaustion. It brought me comfort when I felt lost, overwhelmed, misunderstood. It's like a food comfort blanket, except it attacks your pancreas. And little by little, I became addicted, without realizing it.

And then the side effects came roaring back: insomnia, mood swings, chronic fatigue, migraines, compulsions. My brain was fueled by nothing else, and as soon as I tried to "withdraw," it was a disaster. Irritability, digestive problems, a feeling of emptiness. We don't talk about it enough, but quitting sugar is exactly like quitting drugs.

The trigger (or rather the crash)

The day I realized I was addicted was one morning when I woke up shaking, with a fog in my head, and this weird thought: I have to eat sugar or I'm going to die .

That's when I freaked out. I looked at the scale, at my skin, at my cravings, at my fatigue, and I told myself "stop." Not to become a sugar-free warrior, but to become free again.

Because that's the real problem: sugar takes away your free will. You think you're choosing dessert, when it's really your brain begging for its fix. And for someone like me who hates losing control, that was no longer possible.

My Little Personal Detox (and What I Learned)

I tried 300 methods. Quitting cold turkey, replacing with honey, healthy batch cooking, eating dates (yuck), fasting... Nothing lasted long. Until I understood one fundamental thing: for me, sudden deprivation is torture. I need gentleness, a transition.

So I did it differently. I started by observing my consumption. Noting when I most wanted sugar. What triggered it. Stress? Fatigue? Boredom? Reward? I delved into my automatic habits and dismantled them one by one.

And I replaced it. Not the sugar, but the gesture. A hug, a hot drink, a real break with music or an episode of Resident Alien. Yes, sometimes I give in. Yes, I still eat desserts. But I do it consciously .

Living with sugar without it possessing me

Today, I'm still sensitive to sugar, and I probably always will be. My brain isn't a detox model. But I've learned to spot the warning signs, to pace my cravings, to ask myself "is this really what you want?" before devouring a packet of cookies.

I also cleaned out my cupboards. Fewer processed products, more simple ingredients. And I learned to make my own sweet treats, with ingredients of my own choosing. Because comforting myself, yes. Intoxicating myself, no thank you.

Sugar isn't just a treat. It's a real power grab. And breaking this addiction isn't a matter of willpower; it's a matter of awareness, understanding, and self-respect.

If you're struggling with this too, know that you're not alone, and there's no shame in it. Sugar traps us all, especially when we're neuroatypical.